How Runaways are thinking
Affected parents talk to a psychologist
There are many reasons why a child could run away from home but there is one thing which nearly all the various cases have in common: The parents do not know what their son's or daughter's inner feelings are about.
Here are some examples of questions which were asked by desperate parents frequently:
Q: When I ask my child why it ran away it only shrugs it's shoulders. Although it knows that it isn't a solution it decided to leave it's home.
A: To run away is the last way for a children to escape from a difficult situation. It's a loud cry for help to attract attention. Often they know that they will return once but first of all they want their parents to think about it and to acknowledge that there do exist some abuses.
Q: What can I do when it returned? As a matter of fact I am quite disappointed and also angry but on the other hand I guess I should behave understandingly, shouldn't I?
A: Listen to it's problems and discuss about possible solutions without anger and blames. Don't allow everything but make fair compromises. Take your child seriously when it talks to you! You should keep in mind that it is a great proof of trust if it tells you about it's true thoughts!
Q: What should I do when my child doesn't want to talk to me although I am trying to make a conversation?
A: It's important to be honest. Tell it what you really think about it and allow yourself to show your own emotions: That you love your child and that you don't want to miss it. When your son or daughter doesn't want to listen to you, write a letter but as a matter of fact it's much better to talk directly.
Q: Every day I said to my child that I love it. But after the next horrible argument it ran away once more and returned a few days later.
A: Sometimes children forget what they mean to their parents or they don't believe it. Especially after an argument they only think the worst about their parents. Besides you could be disbelieving when you say it to often that you love your son or daughter. Think about what you say and say the right things in the right time.
Q: My child ran away from home and when I phone it, it doesn't want to say where it is.
A: It's the decision of your child to tell you where it lives. Don't put it under pressure. That would be the wrong way. Conducting understandingly and patiently is the most important thing in such a situation. Then it will realise that you are worried instead of willing to control it.
Q: When my child ran away it left me a notice. It wrote that it want to start a new life and asked us not to search. Should I respect this decision?
A: It isn't a mistake to look for your child but when you find out where it lives now or what it's new adress is, do not interfere in it's life.
But let it know that you are waiting for it and that you will always welcome it warmly.
If you have more questions then do not hesitate: Ask our psychologist. He will help you, too!